actual headlines in actual publications in actual news. actually.

this section of the blog is dedicated to idiots the world over. because if you didnt exist, someone in yahoo news would be out of a job. anyway, here is the latest crap from yahoo news. you know the drill kids, the black is the article, the red is my commentary and the rest is somewhere in the middle.

Breast flasher hit by distracted driver

(thank god they cleared it up that it was breast only. no one needs to see drunken vadge in the morning. beside lindsey lohan)

A teenager flashing her breasts in the middle of a New Zealand road paid for her drunken revelry when a distracted driver ran into her.

( they actually had a picture of new zealand police here, who by the way did not have their baps out. no matter how much the one on the right looks like he gave it some thought - why wont this section turn red?! dam eblogger.com)

Cherelle Dudfield, 18, was dared to flash passing cars in the southern city of Invercargill after a night out drinking with friends. ( there is always, always drink involved in flashing incidents)
She had exposed herself to a couple of cars from a strip in the middle of the road when the stunt went awry. ( do these stunts ever not go awry?)

"I seen a car coming towards me on the centrelane, so I decided to run and I got hit," Dudfield told commercial television news. ( what excellent grammer. this is clearly the work of a graduate english student)

She was taken to hospital but suffered only a few cuts and bruises after rolling over the bonnet of the car and cracking the windscreen. ( can you imagine how much that is going to cost to get that windscreen fixed and more importantly, the story you would have to tell the lads in the garage about why you as a fully functioning pervert have a teenager sized dent in your car)
The teenager was convicted this week of disorderly conduct and fined in an Invercargill court for her September exploits.
( how much does breast flashing cost?)
Dudfield said she had learned her lesson and had a message for anyone else considering a similar stunt.

"Don't be me, don't be stupid, don't get drunk and stand in the middle of the road and flash anyone because it hurts when you get hit."
sound advice people. take it from someone who knows. also see wonderful advice such as 'pissing into the wind' and 'don't eat food from strangers.'

although, glad to see she advised people that it hurts when you get hit. this will solve any problems of people trying to get hit by cars to prove that it only tickles.